


only you can forgive yourself

by gunseldown



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Anger, Comfort, Established Relationship, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 09:02:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20739668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunseldown/pseuds/gunseldown
Summary: Singapore Grand Prix, 2019. Lando makes an embarrassing mistake in qualifying. Carlos tries to help him get over it.





	only you can forgive yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Or, maybe I'm just working through my own fear of failure.

“I just feel so stupid!” Lando says, kicking the carpet. Carlos steps up behind him and wraps his arms around Lando’s hips, pulling him close. Lando sighs and leans back against the Spaniard.

“I can’t believe it, I’ve never made a mistake like that before…” Lando mumbles. 

Carlos presses a kiss to the side of Lando’s face. “Lando…” he murmurs.

Lando doesn’t seem to hear and distractedly continues. “I thought being here a week earlier would help me get used to, you know, everything! But maybe I’m just more tired and on the wrong time zone now…” 

With his firm grip on Lando’s hips, Carlos turns the younger man around and brings him into a tight hug against his chest. Lando lets him without a word, his face looking like he’s about to cry. Carlos strokes the back of Lando’s head soothingly, turning to plant kisses on Lando’s forehead. “Shh,” Carlos says. 

Lando doesn’t return the hug—his hands crumple into fists at his side—but he leans into Carlos’ embrace. “Missing a downshift! It’s not even a rookie mistake. It’s an amateur mistake,” Lando whispers, more to himself than to Carlos.

“I understand,” Carlos whispers back, continuing to stroke Lando’s hair.

They stand in silence for a moment, Lando trembling with the pressure of restrained tears, Carlos patiently holding him. He knows that in a moment like this, he can only be there for his teammate.

Lando unclenches his fists and wraps his arms around Carlos, pressing his forehead into his teammate’s shoulder. Carlos’ hand moves from stroking Lando’s hair down to his back, comforting him. 

“What if I fuck up tomorrow too?” Lando whispers, eyes closed. Carlos stays quiet, listening, stroking Lando’s back. He understands: these are the thoughts that Lando’s too afraid to confront alone.

“I just lost it today. My concentration, you know? Everyone told me that would be the hardest thing. Everyone says that this is the track that separates the greats from the good. What if I can’t hold it together?” Lando blurts it all out in a gush of words tripping over each other and the sobs he’s choking back. It’s fear and dread that’s coiled tightly inside him, the kind of fear that adrenaline, speed, and the joy of driving can’t stamp down. It’s fear of failure.

Carlos guides Lando to the side of the bed and sits him down, kneeling in front of him. Tears are welling up in Lando’s eyes now, try as he might to hold them in. Carlos takes Lando’s hands and holds them, looking up earnestly at his teammate.

“Everyone loses it at this race, Lando, at some point in the weekend,” he says softly. “And everyone will struggle tomorrow. The only difference that experience makes here is it teaches you to accept your mistakes.”

Lando looks at Carlos, still looking downcast and miserable. Carlos sighs.

“I know how this is,” he says, getting up and taking a seat next to Lando on the edge of the bed. “Nothing I say will change your mind, until you forgive yourself.”

Lando shakes his head, dropping his head into his hands. Carlos places his hands on Lando’s shoulders, massaging his neck with his thumbs. Lando is still muttering to himself, swearing. Carlos patiently waits, trying to remember what it is his physio does for him when his neck is a bit sore, occasionally leaning over to kiss Lando on the temple or the hands or any patch of skin he can reach.

Eventually Lando turns into his waiting embrace, and presses his face into Carlos’ shoulders. 

“I’m proud of you, my little rookie,” Carlos whispers. 

“Thanks, Carlos,” Lando whispers back. “Thanks for understanding.”

“No problem, cabrón.”

**Author's Note:**

> And then Carlos says, "Sex now?" and porn ensues.


End file.
